I've written two long posts in the past two days.
One talking about weekly animations, as well as design considerations regarding weekly game updates and what I would have to do to make a weekly game work. But then I decided that it was too long, convoluted, and that people would be annoyed with it given the current situation with animations.
Then today, I wrote one about Noaika, what my eventual end-goals are, and when I would consider it done. I wrote about weekly animations, what I find boring about them lately, and what I might do to make it more interesting again.
Then, I decided that it was sort of pointless too, and I can't really explain why, or why I'm writing this, for that matter. Hell, if I didn't post this, then I suppose I could make another post tomorrow about how I wrote three posts, but didn't post any of them.
Maybe this comes off as too crazy. Or like someone who isn't crazy who's trying to be? The title might be too pretentious. I wonder how many people know that Kurovadis was a play on Quo-Vadis, and that my my idea of "depth" in naming schemes is little more than google translate and using spelling that get's the fewest google results? 3 is pretty good. I guess this post was good for that, even if I don't post it. (I will)
Over the course of the next blank days, I will be doing blank. I know you'll understand why, because I wrote about it in those two posts I didn't post. Don't blank or you'll miss it.
The fuck did I just read?ReplyDelete
Noaika release date reveal confirmed?
We all knew about the name translation. Where are you going with this?ReplyDelete
Kyrieru, are you drunk? Actually, while you're like this, why pick the name Kyrieru?ReplyDelete
Because Kyrie is a cool sounding word and sticking ru on the end of it had no google results.Delete
I don't drink.
Quit it with the riddles and give us some progress...ReplyDelete
You're fun :-)ReplyDelete
In a blank number of monies, what would it be to hire you as a pixel art teacher. 'Show your work they said, I can't spell my brain's neuron lapses, I replied.'ReplyDelete
Well, when people send me pixel art asking for advice, it doesn't cost anything, and I'm generally happy to do edits to show corrections.Delete
Other than that, I already cover a lot of the basics in the tutorial I did. Beyond the basics, I don't really have the time to teach someone everything I know. However, I'll be doing more tutorials over the following months.
If I do a weekly game with updates, I may take the chance to stream a lot of it, with voice, since it would sort of work as a crash course on making a simple game, and I'd be doing things like tilesets and whatnot too.
Can I add you on skype for when I do have stuff to show ya or ask about? Also, yay for streaming, that's something I'd love to see more of, alongside the tutorials.Delete
Sure. Just use "email@example.com"Delete
Aww, I was sorta hoping I'd find here something to AHEM relax to after a business trip. But do your thing ^^ Don't be afraid of posting updates, most of us like you as you are.ReplyDelete
I'm a fan of weekly animations like content in this game, maybe even just with your original characters.
Politely asking for a dark skinned girl with wide hips and midriff as the protagonist ^^
Well, I'd make it so you can change the colors of the character, pretty much regardless of what the game ends up being.Delete
Sounds cool, man. Always thought Pokeymans gen 6 had weakest protagonist designs because of customization, but just color being customizable souds like brilliant middle ground.Delete
A palette of skintones for Noaika would be epic.Delete
Can't wait for the final product, Ky. Keep it up.
Well, currently there's a way to change your colors. Basically you can merge with your familiars for an active effect instead of them floatng around you. When you're in that state, you take on the color scheme of whatever familiar you fuse with.Delete
That said, I may just make it so you can change the skin tone of the default state, and toggle the effect of the familiars.
Dunno about changing only skin tone for Noaika, with orange hair dark skin may look a bit weird. I though topic creator was originally talking about the Patreon game...Delete
Well, I'll put it this way, the familiar thing changes all colors, and if I can make it so you can change the initial state, then you will be able to change the state of everything, not just the skin.Delete
And yeah, the original guy meant the Patreon game. I'd include color options for everything in that too.
Soooo... Lum or Lume new MC name confirmed? :)ReplyDelete
You don't seem to understand that posts like these are why people like you in the first place.ReplyDelete
You also seem to have fallen into a pattern of indulgent self-pity, where you assume that everyone else is healthy, driven, and happy (or at least not sad). That mindset is just a lazy way of rationalizing negative emotion; you don't have to make any decisions if you're inherently deficient. I assure you that everyone else is just as capricious, easily bored, and apprehensive about whether what we're doing will matter to us in a week -- or if it ever mattered to us at all. We're all fucking crazy, because we have all the evidence in the world to demonstrate that we're all fucking crazy, but not a day goes by where we don't tell ourselves that we're the only ones who are crazy.
People don't expect punctuality and reliability from you. Not because you haven't been those things in the past (I don't really keep track), but because those things are mutually exclusive with high art. You're self-centered; you think too much. Those two qualities may seem negative, but they are what make you such a good artist. If you were better at telling your brain to shut up, you'd be worse at finding things that inspire you to create.
Obviously there are practical limitations to this philosophy. But it bothers me to see you speak of yourself like you think you're a shitty person, who is trying and failing to become a better (ie. consistent and reliable) one. The way I see it, people like you (and if you haven't guessed, people like me) are just unwilling to compromise their individuality. I think, whether consciously or otherwise, we're uncomfortable with the idea of diminishing or downplaying what makes us special just because it's more practical. We refuse to become more disciplined because we don't want to give up the weird, wonderful, dangerous thoughts that distract us when everyone else seems content going from work to TV to bed until death.Delete
Have you seen this yet?
Shit like that -- vivid, purposeless expression -- it doesn't come from normal, healthy, happy people. It comes from the people who choose to indulge in the wild, terrifying, and enthralling quirks normal people stifle to make life easier. The kind of things, for example, that make it hard to get things done on time, or to stick with your original idea in a personal project.
Lumeheid is "loomheid" which is Dutch for Lethargy. (Or so google translate tells me)Delete
I wasn't blaming myself, or wallowing in self pity. This post was just an abstract description of what it's like to feel lethargic, and how sometimes it can make you unenthusiastic about things in ways that you can neither rationalize nor fix by just willing it away.
That's it. Wasn't really saying anything about myself, specifically.
Oh. I wish I hadn't written so much. HahaDelete
This post is assuming you're feeling pretty shitty and/or depressed right now, based on your late animations and unusual posting habits lately. If you're feeling great, then disregard this post, hahah. Disclaimer aside:ReplyDelete
Like textbook above me says, posts like these are great, and preferable to what you usually post.
This is the asshole who told you were full of shit last week along with a bunch of other rude things.
The thing is, usually I think you're a fine guy. Like I said last week, we all understand if you're stressed/sick/having a fucking meltdown from everyone's perceived expectations of you. It seems like you're worried about angering your fans, but most people are extremely forgiving of independent developers, especially ones as friendly as you. You get a lot of flak when you break your deadlines sometimes, but I think it's more because you always have some (dubious) excuse or say "those were just PLANS, not PROMISES," and things like that. If you just came out and said "yeah, I was feeling lazy and depressed and didn't work at all this week," I think 99% of your fans would be cool with that.
tldr: basically, none of us here hate you, even the loud (sometimes mean) ones like myself. If you stop trying to put on a front and keep on posting honest hilarious "oh god what am I doing" shit like this, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at how much nicer the reactions will be. I know your "sorry, I procrastinated" post a few days ago was very refreshing to me, at least.
And don't beat yourself up always being late with your art. Your skill is proof that you had the grit to put in more hours than 99% of the planet already. Everyone feels shitty and depressed sometimes, more than most of us will admit. And when you feel like that, obviously it's going to be impossible to do something as mentally exhausting as animation. And then of course you're going to feel more depressed for not animating. And then you'll rinse and repeat. Which is what I have a feeling has been happening with you the last few weeks. But that's understandable. You're only human! Don't sweat it Kyrieru! Take a breather, and get yourself feeling better. Don't be afraid to publicly hit "pause" whenever you're feeling stressed, instead of once a year. You have your fans already. Do things at your own pace, please. Your mental health is more important than our fap material, hahah!
Anyway, cheer up, Kyrieru. Things will work out. Just take it easy. =)
That would all be well and fine, if I was actually lying when there were delays, or when I abandoned projects. Here are some of the reasons I gave in the past,Delete
- I should make a small game with a story and prove I can do it before doing something huge with a story (One of my games)
- I feel burnt out with sprites of this size, and I don't enjoy it as much as smaller ones (martial arts game)
- It's not ready for a demo yet (Blue haired girl game after I realized I didn't have time to implement key features, and that I'd rather wait until they were done.)
- I've been feeling really tired lately (during development)
- I've been dealing with health issues (After I went to the hospital and almost died, turns out I was tired for a reason)
- I'm not satisfied with the quality of the game (original noaika demo after Uriel gave me feedback)
- My health issues are getting bad again. I need to stop trying to work through them and deal with them (During Noaika, and after another trip to the hospital)
- The game is much larger than I originally intended. My health issues are still a problem, and so I'm going to take my time with the game, and try to enjoy development instead of being stressed out all the time. (Noaika)
- I had problems with flash (Trying to work with flash, which I've barely ever used, doing something barely anyone knows how to do)
- Still delayed from time with flash. I want to finish everything I still need to do, before going on (When I had like 4-5 things pending that I needed to do that would keep being late if I didn't get them out of the way.
Just a few off the top of my head. Of course, some were terrible decisions, but they weren't lies, and they certainly weren't a result of laziness. The fact that so many other people just think I'm lying all the time is part of the reason why I decided not bother explaining why I was getting bored of animations to begin with. "excuses again", people would say. At which point I thought, what's the point? And when I thought of writing something simpler that would please people like that who tell me I'm full of shit, one again I thought "Then what's the point of this, for that matter?" "Who cares?, why should I write anything?"
So no, not depressed, just lethargic and out of patience. I understand that you're trying to help, but the narrative that I must be lying about SOMETHING doesn't help. Sorry that I sound like an asshole. because again, I know you just want to help, and from the outside looking in my "career" has hardly been smooth sailing or a series of magnificent successes >_>.
That said, the best I can hope for is that I, and my audience will look back at these first few years and think "At least he didn't give up, and went on to do better".
Of course, if I thought like that then I'd be thinking in 3rd person.
As long as you're happy and having fun. If you say you're always telling the truth with each reason you give for being late, then that's fine. I'm glad you're feeling alright. =)Delete
Good luck, Kyrieru. Sorry I was rude to you the other day.
Cheer up kyrieru. I am on your sideReplyDelete
Oh my god it's like drunk texting!ReplyDelete
Kyrie you freaking made my week!
As long as I see that you let the world know you are among the living I say that's progress enough. Keep it up!
"...but has a sane mind everReplyDelete
produced anything of true significance?"
Ever thought about having some moderators, filtering out the abusive comments out for you before you read them?ReplyDelete
Even I've been half-considering replying to all of the asshats here with some colorful variations of "Fuck you" but surely there are some more mature ways to go about it :)
Nah, there's no need for that. I need to learn to ignore that sort of thing anyway.Delete
Too bad that the god of sprite sex is bored of larger animations :( Is that they're so big, that you lose excitement about what you're doing before you finish it? They're just so awesome, I'd miss them if they went away completely :(ReplyDelete
Sort of. What makes it boring is it's dissimilarity to actual animation and layers. Layers are boring as hell. The more I use layers in defined setup, the more I end up feeling limited, and redrawing stuff less. From here on out I need to either stop using layers, or learn to use them in a more temporary manner.Delete
That said, it's never going to be as fun as normal frame by frame animation. Maybe I'll try doing it that way at some point, even with pixel art.
Blank blank blank blank blank. Blank blank. Blank blank blank blanky blank. :PReplyDelete
Blank blank. :)
I'm just here for the porn, what the fuck is even happening lol.ReplyDelete
Kyrieru-sama, it's HP again. I'm trying to add a godaddy poll to my blog's sidebar, but I can't figure out where to post the code snippet the poll generates for you. Any advice/gyazo screenshots? I don't understand html/java/CSS, unfortunately. =(ReplyDelete
So what was in the two posts that you didn't post but by posting this post-post-scrapping post alerted us to the possibility of their contents' post-dated posting? Is it some sort of postmodern fancy to tease us posters with posts regarding the possible existence of posts that were not henceforth posted? Why postpone the postpocalypse, please respond post-haste!ReplyDelete
is there a chance noaika will be completed before Christmas?ReplyDelete
That could be a great news if Kyrieru answers "yes".Delete
But I believe that Kyrieru said he will not give a release date, because he don't want that people complaining (again...) if he has to push back the release date.
So... Noaika will be release when it's done. =)
Well, it's up to him and how he thinks people will react, but maybe he could say how much of the game(in percentage) is finished. Percentage of content/features doesn't reflect how much time was spent on it (80/20 rule and all), so it could give us some grasp of how it's going while not building up any deadline pressure. But maybe he'd prefer no to and I can also respect that.Delete
Don't blank or you'll miss it sounds like no that far into the future. Sure hope you can at least announce the new poll winner today. Keep calm and blank blank :)ReplyDelete
So what's the current situation with the delayed animations? Will we be getting them soon hopefully this week or should we be expecting you to procrastinate another week?ReplyDelete
Do you pronounce Kyrieru as "Kyrie-roo" or "Kyri-Eru"?ReplyDelete
Well, Kyrie is latin "kee-lee-eh", so the last part would be pronounced the same. "kee-lee-eh-luu'"Delete
I've always read it like "kai-ree-air-oo" >.>Delete
Sounds like a howling coyote that way :DDelete